When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
love makes seman taste better
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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