That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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