do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
