Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
