the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
