how can u be prego again
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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