Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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