If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
