he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
