bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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