I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
