just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
