she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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