I like my sex mixed with concussions.
no, he came in my armpit
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
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