Pants 0. Shit 1.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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