ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
