I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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