I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
