haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
