Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
