Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
