honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
