sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
