Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
