Whod you bang
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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