why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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