look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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