Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
