either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
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Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call