i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.