You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.