Welp...herpes.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
