They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
