How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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