Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
