Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
