What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
