Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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