Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
