were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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