Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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