Where did you get a picture of my penis
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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