mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He has the fingertips of a God
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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