Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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