Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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