I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize