You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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