My room smells like vodka and shame
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
