dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
