Midget sex pt 2 tonight
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
