I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
