I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
