So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My life is pants optional.
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