I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
