i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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