One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
