I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
someone owes me an orgasm
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize