So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
