not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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