Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
