You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
