So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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