I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
