put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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