I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
