Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
