I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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