she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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