Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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