it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
