Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
