If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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