I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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